Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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