I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
