What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize