i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
