She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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