Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
