And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
