This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
