so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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