it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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