erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
