I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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