Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
