And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
smell my finger.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
