hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I AM VODKA MAN
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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