he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
