i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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