there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This is the high leading the old right now
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
