i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
