This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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