i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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