when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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