those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
