We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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