We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I want a musical about memes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
