Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
