I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
