i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
