Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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