The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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