I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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