also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
