ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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