why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
