There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize