I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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