I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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