Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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