Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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