My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
