When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
