so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
