pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Rumble strips road head = magical
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
