Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
