You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
