Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
