At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
