Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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