Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
