How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
