We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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