Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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