I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
