You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
