Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
